Archive for oncologist

My scan came back with no growth!

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (0)
Thursday, August 26th, 2010

Well I not only made it through the CT but had pretty good news. My scan came back with no growth so that’s awesome! The more we look at it we’re not sure that I don’t have a 2cm reduction which would be absolutely amazing as I work towards a reversal surgery and remission. I was very nervous about the test but thrilled with the results. My oncologist told me that he couldn’t argue for chemo with results like that and wanted to know a little more about what I was doing. I am thrilled with my decision to change to Dr Dan. He said to come again in 6 weeks and repeat the scan in 3 months.

Also I had some good family news this week as well.

After some consideration I decided to approach Dr Mark about a “clean” food Cafe’/Gluten free bakery. Because if my diet restrictions I can’t go out to eat or have as many options for food when I’m out and about. I’d like to make foods that are gluten free and “clean”(meaning no canola/vegetable oil, refined sugars or flour ect) He seemed excited about it and I think we may move that direction. He told me that he would love to make “the market”(his store) a lunch place where you could get great food which is exactly what I was thinking. If I did it out of the market I would have access to fresh organic ingredients and a fully functioning kitchen. I’m excited to see what comes of it!

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CA-125 Numbers are up to 130

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (4)
Thursday, July 1st, 2010

I switched oncologists. I switched to the son of my old Dr. He is younger and seems a lot more open minded. I had my first apt with him on Tuesday and even though my CA-125 is up again he was very kind and encouraging. He and I discussed chemo and the horrible side affects I had. He told me that the chemo that I was on is the nastiest chemo there is and that he wasn’t surprised that I didn’t handle it well. He said that he understood that I would want to have a quality of life and be a mom instead of suffering especially since there was no guarantee that the chemo would help me. He said that he is fine with me going through the summer doing what I am doing and then running another CT and blood draw. His nurse called me that afternoon and told me that my numbers are up to 130 and that if I wanted to be seen sooner for any symptoms just to call. They didn’t make me feel pressured though which I appreciated. I of course called Mark and he reassured me that as long as I’m under 200 right now that he’s still confident. So my intentions are to get back on my strict strict diet as I have been slacking a little and keep doing what I’m doing. I see Mark on Friday and hopefully I will get on bioidentical hormones in the next few days. I am hopeful for the future.

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Opening up about how it really feels

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (1)
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

On Monday I woke up bright and early after 4 days of fasting and headed to Boise for a scan. I then went and had some lunch with my girl Jenna before heading back to see Dr Perez(my surgeon) He did a pap and an exam and then gave me the news I dreaded most. He said “I can’t do the surgery.” He said that there is a rock hard mass at the top of the vaginal wall and it is too close to the colon to be able to do the surgery. He requested that I go back on chemo and see if we can get it to “soften up.” He told me that he believed I had a good reaction the the Gemzar treatment and that he would recommend we try that again. I told him that I couldn’t walk, that’s not a good reaction and that my oncologist told me that if I went back on chemo I would have to stay down there. Not only do I not want to live in a Boise hospital I don’t believe it was working. I told him that I believe in what I am doing and he asked me to schedule with my oncologist anyway. I felt hot tears running down my face and was in kind of a state of shock I think. Dr. Perez and Martha sat there with me as I cried and explained how I felt. They were kind but they can not truly know how it feels to not be able to wear jeans or a swim suit. How it feels to not be able to work or go to church because it’s too quiet and what if it makes noise always in your thoughts. They can’t know how it feels to not want your husband to look at you. They tried to soothe me and I left there feeling a little hopeless. As I walked to my car I kind of felt like I was in a tunnel and there weren’t even tears. I was glad I was alone because I am such a private person and I needed that time to gather myself and to only care about my emotions and nobody elses. I called Mark and he was kind as usual and told me that he believed that a hard mass is good meaning that it was calcifying and that it then starts to deteriorate. He is kind and even though he doesn’t know how I feel he tries to reassure me the best he can.

I text Jenna and we decided that a relaxing pedicure would be a good option so we headed to the mall for some foot rubs. It was nice to get to relax and feel spoiled. I haven’t spoiled myself in a long time and I found a couple cute new dresses for summer(if it ever comes) that made me feel a little better about hiding my ostomy. My first thought was to go home and have a raging angry fit on my closet. I get tired of looking at the clothes in my closet that I can’t wear but I decided that wouldn’t really make me feel better so finding something cute to wear might :) On my way to Ross I got a call from Marika. Despite her rough day(she was the hospital with a fever) she was a comfort to me. We talked as only cancer patients can talk to each other. We talked about our body’s, how we felt unattractive and how the emotional toll takes over you some times. She is kind and loving and I am so grateful for her. I had lots of shopping to do and stops to make so when I finally headed for home after a LONG day at 10 pm I had a melt down. Something that I don’t think I have ever really let happen in my life. I was alone, had some great music going and I just sobbed and cried out to God. I yelled and let myself be REALLY angry for the first time that I can remember and then as quickly as it started it was over. The tears were dry and the redness left my face and once again I was in a state of numbness almost. I know that there is nothing I can do to change this right now and all I can do is keep working on me. I realize that I can live like this for now. There is no threat to my life, my kidneys are functioning and my bowl blockage is non existent. The greatest hurdle in my life is this ostomy and I can’t do the surgery myself so I better just figure out more ways to get around it for the time being. I don’t have to be happy about it, I just have to accepting of it for now.

I’m headed in today to go over my scan with Mark but he says there is no growth and that in it’s self is good news. There was a time when the growth was expected to take over my system and end my life so this is GOOD news. I need to just keep plugging along and enjoying the moments I have. Rilynn and I have a hockey game and on the ice is one place where what I have under my gear doesn’t matter. I wish I could change in the locker room like “normal” people but I can make due…I don’t have a choice :)

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My CA-125 numbers are up just slightly, but not enough to do Chemo

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (3)
Friday, May 7th, 2010

Oh my goodness it’s been busy around here. We have been going going going but I am so grateful that my legs are now strong enough to carry me the distance. Tuesday I had an apt with the colorectal surgeon, it was an embarrassing appointment and no matter how many bottoms he’s looked at this is still mine and somehow different. I learned that if the tumors are debulable (removable) then there is a possibility that I can have my ostomy reversed. Ultimately it’s yet to be decided. I have to see if my regular surgeon is willing to do the surgery and that will be based on how the next CT goes. Unfortunately there are so many surgeries for cancer these days that my surgeon was booked until June, however he was able to squeeze me in on the 24th of May. I will have a Cat Scan early that morning and see him at 1 for the results. I am hopeful that there will be significant changes this time and am working to visualize a good outcome. My CA-125 numbers are up just slightly, but not enough to do Chemo my oncologist said. I saw my normal oncologists son this week and I liked him a lot. I’ve seen him twice now when mine has been out of town and am seriously considering switching to him permanently. He’s great, very friendly and seems a little more open to my new method of treatment. He said I wouldn’t do chemo if I was you and that is the first time I have ever heard that from an oncologist. Right now I am being monitored pretty closely and the thyroid seems to be doing better.

On the way to my Dr’s apt Tuesday I called my “chemo buddy” Marika to see how she was I hadn’t heard from her in a while and she had been on my mind a LOT. Once she answered the phone I knew exactly why she hadn’t called. I could “hear” the weakness in her voice and as we talked I learned how rough the last few weeks had actually been. She had been in the hospital on and off for the last 3 weeks and had an allergic reaction to her new chemo. Also she had gotten some devastating news that her liver was in a lot of trouble and other tumors had developed in her lungs and liver as well. Her numbers had jumped dramatically over the period of just one week. We talked about things that only cancer patients can understand and we both ended up in tears. She is an amazing woman and she has been my inspiration and strength many times over this journey! This is her second go with this disease and this was honestly the first time that I had ever seen her this down. It brought back some pretty difficult memories for me of a time when I was in that same place. We both agreed that the phone call was a “God thing” that we both needed. I know that she and I will forever be friends and had we not both been in this journey we would have never met. Mark often tells me to see the good in what has come from this and not the bad and my friendship Marika is one of the best things that has come from my getting sick. There is something special about some one who really “gets it.” I love to call her when I have good news because I know she knows how that really feels and I also know I can call her when I need to be encouraged. I encouraged her to see Dr Mark and yesterday she did. Afterwards we met up for a short visit and I was greeted with the greatest smile and hug that only Marika can give. I could tell that she had seen something new. She told me that she felt much more encouraged and that’s all I want for her. She is trying to get into a clinical trial so we are praying that her liver numbers get better and she regains some strength to continue this journey.

My daughter MeKaty decided that she wanted to do the race for the cure this year so she, Rilynn, my mom and I are all going to do it tomorrow in Boise. We are racing in Marika’s honor and it should be a great day!

Rilynn and I had another hockey game on Wednesday and she scored 3 goals! She was pretty excited. We are really enjoying it.

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It’s been a whirl wind of days

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (3)
Thursday, February 25th, 2010

It’s been a whirl wind of days. Monday I had a CT and met with my oncologist. He said that my Cat scan looked the same as it did in October which in it’s own way is good. That means at least its not growing!
Then Tuesday I saw my surgeon hoping desperately for him to say that everything was ready to reverse my ostomy. He palpated my abdomen and said “Crystal this is soft, like unbelievably soft.” He seemed quite surprised. After an internal exam he let me get dressed and then came in to talk to me. He said that he thought that my CT actually looked better but that I still had a 4cm mass at the top of the rectal wall so he wanted to wait two more months to see if we could get them to shrink some more. He said “You can do anything for 2 months, be patient.” I told him that I have been patient. He told me 10 weeks and its been 7 months. I think that’s pretty patient. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t pretty disappointed but I am doing my best to live with it and be content to wait. In working with Mark I have realized how hard I am on myself and other people and I know that this will only soften me towards other peoples “defects.” I feel like I am going the right direction and believe my day is coming.
There is a fundraiser this weekend for me at crossfit asylum. It is being put on my one of my nurses. She is a real sweet heart and I am SO grateful for all the support I have continued to receive through out this journey. I receive so much support emotionally and financially. Every time I go to buy ostomy supplies at $400 a month I feel overwhelmed with gratefulness for the help I have had. This journey is far from over but I know with all of you I can do it.

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I am hoping for the best.

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (0)
Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Today was long and tiring but good I think. I walked into the hospital today and was surrounded by all the cancer patients all I could think is how they don’t know any better. I had my blood draw and should have my results tomorrow. My oncologist is so insistent that it has to be the chemo that is helping even though I haven’t had chemo in almost three months. He tried to bully me a little bit into thinking what I am doing could not be working. We’ll see when my numbers come back how things are working. I am hoping for the best.

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A lot on my mind the last few days

By Crystal Heimgartner · Comments (8)
Monday, January 11th, 2010

A lot on my mind the last few days. I went in and had a check up with my oncologist and had my blood drawn and my port flushed on Thursday. Dr. Zukerman seemed surprised by my decision to continue to stay off of the chemo and even more surprised and how good my white blood cells and anemia looked. He felt my abdomen for longer than usual and then said “This actually feels really good, can you bring in all the stuff that you are taking? I am very interested.” I was glad to hear that but my holistic Dr. had told me to be prepared for ups and downs and not to be discouraged if it came back slightly higher so when they called me Friday and told me it had dropped to 67 I almost exploded! I was shaking and so excited. Tina and Sunnie were doing cartwheels and my dad held my hand for a while as we took it all in. It was great to have him there when I got the news. The whole trip over to Ephrata (moses lake area) was great. It was just he and I and we haven’t gotten to do that in such a long time. I was so grateful for the quality time and was honored when he said that he was very proud of how I have handled this situation. As a little girl I longed for his approval and couldn’t have gotten it at a better time.

We got to Ephrata around dinner time on Friday and enjoyed a nice dinner with the Munro family and attended the funeral for Sage on Saturday. I feel so deeply for his son as I understand how it is to lose your dad as a kid and to have so many questions. It was overall a very nice trip and Fawn came home with us last night.

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