Archive for Daughters

I went snowboarding

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Today was a fun day. I went snowboarding. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I got a little sick this afternoon and then went on to snowboard some more. The thought of throwing up keeping me down is funny to me. I have so much more to deal with than a little vomit LOL.

Driving home I had the song “I run for life” playing and I looked over and noticed my girls staring at me. They were both intensely watching me sing that song. It’s one of my favorites and they are obviously getting a lot more aware of the words. The way they were looking at me kind of broke my heart. I know they know how much I love them and they talk about when I am better and have hair again. They are such good girls and very supportive of my diet and other needs. How amazing that they would be so nurturing at such a young age.

What keeps me going

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

I got an email today from a man who has a friend fighting ovarian cancer. He thanked me for sharing my journey and how I had helped him be a better friend to her because of it. It made me very emotional because when I started this journal I had no intentions other than keeping family and friends updated during the process and to document the journey for my small children. Honestly I started my blog for my daughters if, god forbid, I didn’t make it. I wanted them to know that I fought and how often I thought of them during that battle. They are so small and I can’t bare the thought of them forgetting me or ever questioning how I felt about them. There have been days in this journey when it seems so hopeless and I have thought if I didn’t have them I might just give up and let the cancer kill me. I know that is not what I want but there are days when the pain is so much and the emotion so overwhelming that you question your ability to win the fight. It’s people like Josh, the people on Facebook who say I have changed them for the better and my kids that keep me going. I want people to know that the best thing you can do when you are on the bottom of the stack is to keep climbing to the top. You will fall sometimes but you just dust off and climb again.