It’s been a whirl wind of days. Monday I had a CT and met with my oncologist. He said that my Cat scan looked the same as it did in October which in it’s own way is good. That means at least its not growing!
Then Tuesday I saw my surgeon hoping desperately for him to say that everything was ready to reverse my ostomy. He palpated my abdomen and said “Crystal this is soft, like unbelievably soft.” He seemed quite surprised. After an internal exam he let me get dressed and then came in to talk to me. He said that he thought that my CT actually looked better but that I still had a 4cm mass at the top of the rectal wall so he wanted to wait two more months to see if we could get them to shrink some more. He said “You can do anything for 2 months, be patient.” I told him that I have been patient. He told me 10 weeks and its been 7 months. I think that’s pretty patient. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t pretty disappointed but I am doing my best to live with it and be content to wait. In working with Mark I have realized how hard I am on myself and other people and I know that this will only soften me towards other peoples “defects.” I feel like I am going the right direction and believe my day is coming.
There is a fundraiser this weekend for me at crossfit asylum. It is being put on my one of my nurses. She is a real sweet heart and I am SO grateful for all the support I have continued to receive through out this journey. I receive so much support emotionally and financially. Every time I go to buy ostomy supplies at $400 a month I feel overwhelmed with gratefulness for the help I have had. This journey is far from over but I know with all of you I can do it.