Today I am feeling a lot better. What started out yesterday as a normal day with the usual highs and lows ended in a pretty good scare on my part. I had a fantastic talk with the guy next to me about the will to live and faith. While sitting there talking to him the nurse got my carbo platinum going(I always get Taxol first) and he and I finished up our conversation. I headed back to my own bed and laid there for a few minutes using my ipad and listening to music. I had text Mark to let him know that I would be about another 20 or 30 minutes and we could get going.(He had left to run a couple errands) I then got up to go to the bathroom and while inside I felt a little congested and coughed a couple times, I thought it was just maybe a cold coming on. I headed back to my bed but the cough continued, it was strange it came on really fast. I kept drinking water thinking maybe I just had something in my throat. The lady sitting in the chair near my feet looked over and asked if I was ok, I replied “I think so” right about then I could feel my chest get really tight. One of my favorite nurses walked by right then and looked over with some concern. I said “My chest is really tight” I could nearly not even get the words out. Next thing I knew 4 nurses were standing over me as I coughed and gasped. They pulled the privacy curtains around us and started pushing benadryl and cortisone, they may have even given me epi but I’m not sure. I could see their concern and they asked someone to get the pharmacist. I could see my heart rate on the monitor and they were doing my blood pressure constantly. They worked amazingly as a team and kept calm while they worked on me. My heart rate was 131 and my blood pressure was also skyrocketing as my 02 stats(oxygen) were dropping very low. They kept checking my heart rate manually because they couldn’t believe it was so high all the sudden. As they pushed the meds I could feel them go in and my chest began to loosen up. I started to breathe a little better but was still gasping a little so they had me take a few puffs of and inhaler. That helped a lot. Things started to slow down and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. They told me that it is not uncommon to build up a reaction to the carboplatinum. They told me that I may not be able to continue the treatment. I felt emotional. I was overwhelmed at the thought of putting myself through three weeks just to be told I might not be able to keep going, did I want to keep going??? Mark arrived and my heart rate was starting to slow down and I was starting to breathe normally. About that time my hands swelled up and I broke out in a head to toe rash and got really chilly. It was an odd experience. I was so grateful to have such amazing nurses around me that responded so quickly. For about an hour after that they kept an eye on my fast heart rate and oxygen. I also couldn’t breathe out of my nose for about an hour, it had swollen shut on the inside from all the inflammation but eventually went down. They told me that they weren’t sure if they were going to let me go home. I was exhausted and drugged and soon found myself fast asleep. When I woke up Mark’s smiling face was at the end of my bed and the nurses were standing around as well. They told me that I was doing much better and that I could go home but asked that I go back to Mark’s and take a nap first before driving home to let the benadryl wear off. The pharmacist came over and talked to me. He told me that he would have to talk to my Dr. but if I were to continue this regimen that I would have to be heavily medicated. I gathered my things and hopped in Marks car which he had to graciously parked right out front in his hurry to check on me. We headed back to the house and I laid down while Mark went to his meeting. I zonked out and enjoyed another nap. When I woke up Mark was back with dinner and I was feeling much better. We ate and visited, I shared with Ryan the days events and we talked about plans for his upcoming 18th birthday. I’m honored that they have considered me a part of the event. I love setting up fun things for people. I would love to be in the event business. Anyway I love that kid and am excited to help Mark with the details of getting it all ready. About 7 I felt ready to head out and had to make a quick stop by the mall to pick up some pants I had hemmed and I was on my way. Today I feel pretty good, just a little tired and stagnant, not sure what to do next. I guess I wait to hear from my Dr. to see what he suggests but I am a little anxious about continuing even on heavy medications. What if the reaction is worse next time, do I really want to have to be on heavy meds? So many choices and the plot thickens..
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