My Granddad passed away last week and it brought me through several emotions. Besides the obvious sadness I found my self having some dark thoughts about what happens if I die, do all these people come for me, what pictures will they choose (hopefully not those ugly ones that I hate) what music would I want etc… I started thinking about if I had told anyone where my will was and how mad I was at having to have one even though I think every parent should have one. Then I realized that those thoughts are normal and that you can never be too prepared as long as you don’t let those fears overwhelm you. I have to live for each day and prepare for the future what ever it might hold. Right now my future holds a lot of joy, a great vacation coming up and hockey tournaments as well as watching my daughter compete in a figure skating competition. These are all things that I wasn’t supposed to be able to do and I am! So I push that fear aside and enjoy my family and the times when the sun shines.

I got to spend time with my family and enjoy listening to the kids laughing and playing together. At the funeral we placed granddads pickup up front with a few other memorable things. This was the first time I have ever seen my dad cry and it was heart breaking but powerful. As I closed my eyes the strong smell of fresh cut flowers was overpowering and it reminded me of spring and all the things that start fresh again in the spring. Amidst the sadness we found some joy, sharing memories and hugs with those we love. Kenna, Katrina and I sat down at 11pm the night before the funeral and started jotting down our memories and this is what came of it….

The Love we have for Granddad will never fade away,
We will cherish our memories of him each and every day.

With patience and time, he gave his advice,
he never did condemn, or say there’s a price.

He watched us make the same mistakes as so many kids before,
But that just made him want to teach us, and love us all the more.

Always Ford pickup trucks and always in Seid blue, Nothing but flannel shirts and World’s Softest Socks would do.

Going to bull sales or out to coffee or lunch,
He always loved us being with him alone or in a bunch.

Whether riding in the tractor or sorting thru the steers,
He shared with us the knowledge he’d learned throughout the years.

He worked harder than most anyone, often baling into the night,
A quick nap in his chair before rising again at morning light.

Sharing stories of his travels and all the friends he made,
He instilled in us a love for life we will carry through our days.

Granddad understood, and Granddad knew best,
to have known him and loved him, we really were blessed.

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