I’m well into over three days of fasting. Today was a little easier but I still want to eat so badly. It makes you very aware of your body and different things going on around you. I’ve spent the last 3 and a half days having water only except for a half of a Kombucha to help with a headache. It seems like the days go by so slowly. I keep watching the clock just hoping that it will be bed time and off to the next day. Mark says I have to do a longer one after the CT and that makes me a little nervous because this has been hard enough but I know I can do it. I’m trying to keep thinking that it will be helpful to me long term but I’m ready to not be light headed when I get up and move around. I also would love to have energy to go for a run or play some hockey. This weakness reminds me of being on chemo.

Today I learned that some of my family feels like I have been disconnected recently. I didn’t feel that way but I have been doing a lot of self evaluation stuff and trying to get by day by day doing it all on my own. However Darick is back now and should be here most of the time now and that will make it a little easier. This blog is my outlet so that I don’t have to talk about it all the time and a way for me to let people know what I am thinking without having to call everyone and go through it over and over. I’m sorry if I have been distant or people feel like I am different. I didn’t intend to hurt anyones feelings. I have been told that I am different now and I am glad to say that I really am but I believe in a good way. I appreciate life a little more and have not put as much effort into everyone else and have settled in to figure out where my happiness lies and spending time with my kids. Now that Darick is back I am hoping to see all of you a lot more and have some free time. Summer is coming and that will make my schedule a lot more flexible.

I love you all even if I haven’t seen you as much as I would like :)

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